


Thanksgiving Trash

by SPK123



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Meme inspired, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving drama, friend's ocs - Freeform, friends to dating?, modern!AU, oh yeah, slowburn, there isn't a tag for original reptile characters, when your immediate family rocks but extended sucks ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 11:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18467581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPK123/pseuds/SPK123
Summary: Asahi reads the post over again, just to make sure he's reading it write. This guy is offering to be someone's pretend Thanksgiving date? And he's doing it forfree?This has to be a joke.The worst part of Thanksgiving for Asahi is his family. Not his sister and parents, no, they're awesome. It's everyone else that's complete trash, given that only his immediate family treats him the same after he came out. This year though, they want to get back at them for the constant torment of every holiday. And Asahi may have found the best way to do it, through what may be the strangest internet add he's ever seen.Story inspired by Modern!AU Porter Gage by Skymagpie, featuring my take on Gage's farmer boyfriend, Asahi.





	Thanksgiving Trash

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SkyMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyMagpie/gifts).



"So, what's the game plan?"

Asahi's sister, Fuyuko, talks through the video call with a crackled voice. Asahi smacks the side of his computer to try and cut the lstatic going through.

"Hang on, something's going on with my computer."

"Do not bother,  _Musuko_ ," Asahi's mother, Kaede, says. "The same thing is happening with your father and I. It seems to just be the program."

Asahi sighs in annoyance and leans back. He still finds himself jealous that his parents are still more tech savvy than him, and that's saying something that he's up there in years as is. He leans down to pat Vivian's head before sitting back up.

Asahi's father, Hitomu, comes into view on his parent's screen. "Frederick, the one from work, you know, was telling me that Skype is a rather old communication program. Perhaps we should look for a newer one? He mentioned this site called 'Discord', and it sounds promising."

"Guys, can we  _focus_ here?" Fuyuko asks. "Thanksgiving is in  _two_ weeks, and we still haven't come up with anything here! At this rate we might as well skip again!"

For the last two months, Asahi, Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitomu have been brainstorming how to get back at their family this Thanksgiving dinner. Ever since Asahi came out as gay five years ago, the strain on the two sides of their family has grown worse and worse. Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitomu are the only ones who treat him the same, and while they're thankfully all of his immediate family, it's made reunions during the holidays only get more uncomfortable. Every holiday gathering, Asahi can feeling the burning glares of his aunts and uncles in his back, his cousins trying (and failing) to move their children away from him without him noticing. He notices. Every Single. Time. It's gotten so bad that last year, the four of them didn't go to any family gatherings and just spent their holiday with the family of Asahi's friend Mei. And while they're thankful for his friend's kindness, the bitterness hasn't left their tongues.

"Well obviously we cannot do anything head on," Kaede says. "That would just be childish and brash. We must do something subtle, yet lasting."

"But what can we do that's like that?" Asahi asks. "The only thing I can think of that's like that is getting away with murdering one of them."

"Well-"

" _Father_."

"What? _No one_ likes your aunt Fumiko!"

Asahi admits to himself that his father isn't wrong. "Still, I'm not looking to finish Thanksgiving behind bars."

"Ugh, how is this so hard?!" Fuyuko exclaims. "I feel like it'd be easier to come up with how to get back at a bunch of _scumbags_ like them!"

Their parents nod in agreement. One thing Asahi's always been thankful for is not only that they still love him even after his coming out, but also that they despise the rest of the family just as much as him and Fuyuko. He'd heard plenty of horror stories of parents reacting poorly to their children coming out, and he's more than glad that his hadn't been a repeat of such.

Suddenly, Asahi notices a notification go off. "Oh, hang on guys, I gotta mute you for a second. Mei's sending me messages."

Asahi hits the mute button on each of their screens as they nod, then opening the messaging window to his conversation with Mei.

_Mei: Hey dude :)_

_Asahi: Hi, Mei_

_Mei: Whatchu up to? Feel like I haven't heard from you in a while._

_Asahi: I know, sorry. Me and my family just-_

_Mei: Working on your revenge, I know. Actually, that's why I messaged you. I think I found the perfect answer to your problem._

_Asahi: Wait, what?_

_Mei: I found this ad online, and it honestly sounds like the best way to piss off your family. Not even_ _exaggerating_

_Asahi: An ad? I'm not wasting money on this, Mei_

_Mei: Well, it's not exactly something you buy. It's...well, just look at it. It's...interesting._

Mei sends him a link. Asahi makes a weird face to himself, remembering the last "weird link" Mei sent him.

_Asahi: Mei, you aren't trying to send me that weird Minions stuff again, are you?_

_Mei: I_ promise  _that's not what this is. And trust me, having to look at that was just as painful for me._

Asahi still doesn't fully trust it, but he figures nothing can be worse than...that. Maybe this one won't appear every time he closes his eyes. Asahi clicks the link, and it brings him to some obscure forum page, to a blog with a single post. 

 

**user:** portergage

I am a 47 year old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty impala three years older than me with gunshot holes in the driver’s side. I can play anywhere between ages of 35 and 50 depending if I shave. I am unemployed but I’m currently working on it. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I’m game.

I can do these things at your request:  
openly hit on other guests while you act like you don’t notice.

 start instigative discussion about politics and/or religion.

propose to you in front of everyone. 

pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (sorry i don’t drink, but i used to. a lot. too much in fact. i know the drill) 

Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see.

  * do NOT contact me with unsolicited services



 

Asahi reads through the post a second time, then a third. Asahi reads the post over again, just to make sure he's reading it right. This guy is offering to be someone's pretend Thanksgiving date? And he's doing it for _free_?

_This has to be a joke._

_Asahi: Is this an actual thing? There's no way this can be real._

_Mei: Honestly, I don't even know. But there's a messaging system, so it can't hurt to try, right?_

Asahi isn't so sure about that. For all he knows, he could be arranging to meet with a potential murderer. But right now they're desperate for anything, so...

_Asahi: I'll talk about it with my family. Thanks for the help, Mei._

_Mei: No problem, man. Good luck with the family._

_Asahi: Thanks. You have no idea how much luck I'll need._

With that, Asahi exits the thread, looks over the forum post one more time, and reopens his Skype channels. Fuyuko is definitely looking at another site while his parents are busying themselves with a book.

"Guys, I think Mei found something," he says as he unmutes them. "She sent me this link to this weird online post, and it may be just what we're looking for. Here, let me email it to you."

Asahi sends the link to each of them, then sits back for their reactions. Doe wanders off the bed and purrs at him, making him pick the blind white cat up and place her in his lap. He watches their expressions as they click and look through it.

"Huh," is all Fuyuko says with a tilted head. "This is...huh."

"And he's doing this for _free_?" his mother asks. "It is almost too good to be true."

"Why don't you message him," his father says. "It cannot hurt to at least try."

"I...okay. But if I go missing, well, you know where to start looking."

Asahi ends the calls with his sister and parents, leaving only the blog open. He clicks the direct messaging symbol, opening a small box on the corner of the screen. He quickly enters his name in the guest registration box, then clicks on the text bar of the DM box. His fingers hover over the keys as he thinks about what to send.

_Asahi: Hello_

A little stale, but really, how else would you start discussing something like this? Asahi waits a moment, considering what to do while he waits for a reply, but to his surprise it only takes a few moments.

_portergage: Hey._

Asahi returns his hands to the keyboard, ready to keep the conversation from going stale so quickly.

_Asahi: So I'm messaging about the..."ad" you have on here._

_portergage: Yeah, I figured, since it's the only fucking thing on here._

A bit rude, but to be fair he has a point. It  _is_ the only thing on the page.

_portergage: So, you looking to start some family drama, huh?_

_Asahi: You could say that._

_portergage: Mind if I ask?_

_Asahi: Came out as gay a few years ago. Only my parents and sister are supportive. Pretty much everyone else treats me like sin._

_portergage: Yeah, usually how old fucks act._

_Asahi: I'm...technically part of that. I'm 43_

"portergage" takes a minute to respond.

_portergage: Well damn. Usually a big part of the shtick is "boyfriend who's_ way _too old for you"._

_Asahi: It's a family of old Christians. I'm pretty sure at least half of them fit Evangelic. I think the rest of your bio is enough to freak em out._

The "gage" actually sends back a "ha ha ha", though Asahi isn't sure if he's actually laughing in real life or if he's just being polite.

_portergage: So this whole thing is about you, your sister, and your parents gettin' back at 'em, even if you can just...not go and deal with their shit?_

_Asahi: Well...yeah, pretty much._

_portergage: Petty, convoluted, over the top...heh, I'm almost regretting puttin' "platonic" down._

Asahi feels his face heat up. He can't even think of the last time someone flirted with him, much less so openly. And he hates to admit it, the guy's making a good first impression on him, friend or more.

_Asahi: I, uh...thanks_

_portergage: And he stutters in text chats. Almost_ too _adorable._

Asahi ignores the pickup line and keeps typing.

_Asahi: Well, anyway, I have to ask...is this all really free? I don't...owe you anything or something?"_

_portergage: Heh, nope. All I'm askin' for is a free meal. And maybe even some shit to take home._

Okay this guy can't be serious. All of this extra nonsense for...a meal? The vagueness of "taking shit" doesn't slip pass Asahi, but honestly he shrugs it off. He _knows_  the cousin whose house dinner is at this year commits tax evasion, and everyone else just turns a blind eye to it. He's _asking_ for shit to be taken from him.

_Asahi: So I think it'd be good, and well funny, if we did all the stuff listed expect the proposal thing. I_ know _that there's a good chance we may not get out of that one unharmed._

_portergage: Sounds good to me._

_Asahi: So, uh, anything else to negotiate?_

_portergage: Just one. Gettin' a good stubble in now, but like I said, I play anywhere between 35 and 50, dependin' on my shavin'. Your choice?_

_Asahi: Well, uh, what's your_ actual  _age?_

_portergage: 47, kid._

_Asahi: Okay you definitely do_ not  _get to call me kid just because you're four years older._

This time Asahi can practically hear the guy's actual laugh as the "ha ha" pops up. Considering how he types, he guesses this guy has some sort form of a southern twang. That should make things...interesting.

_Asahi: I'll say no shave then. You go looking 35, I can guarantee you some of my aunts will think I'm "preying on the poor, innocent young man."_

_portergage: Ha! Got it, man. Alright, just send me the address an' date, and I'll pick you up then._

_Asahi: Wait, before I do, would it...would it be alright if I asked for a face picture?_

It takes a few minutes for portergage to answer, and for a second Asahi worries he scared the guy off. But he relaxes as another message pops up.

_portergage: Sure thing, kid. Here._

A file preview is attached to the message. Asahi clicks on it and-

"Oh...oh _my_..."

Asahi feels his heartbeat pick up as he studies the picture. There's the stubble he was talking about, all across a square edged jaw. The man's skin is a blemished and wrinkled tan, his face holding a broad nose and a wide mouth up in a slight smirk.. An eyepatch lays over one of his eyes, scars peeking out from the upper and bottom edges. His other eye has a drooped lid in a relaxed looking gaze, thick, relaxed eyebrows just at the bottom of his forehead. Atop his head lays a messy mohawk of dark brown hair. His fairly thick neck leads down to wide shoulders and what Asahi can only guess is a broad chest, hairs peeking out from the top of his tank top.

Asahi can't lie-dude's kinda hot.

_portergage: Hellooo? kid? Something wrong?_

Asahi realizes he hasn't responded in a good five minutes, too busy studying the man's features. He quickly types out a response.

_Asahi: Sorry, my computer was lagging. It's kind of an old piece of shit._

_portergage: No problem, man. So...?_

_Asahi: Huh?_

_Asahi: Oh, right! The dinner's two weeks from now, and my address is 19 Cranberry Avenue._

Asahi quickly realizes the dude's probably not local, but before he can reply Gage sends something.

_portergage: Wait, Cranberry Ave? That near Elm's Road? The_ _Cul-de-sac?_

Asahi feels his brain go blank. This guy lives a  _few roads down_? How has he never seen him before? He  _definitely_ would've remembered a face like his.

_portergage: Just moved in a few months ago. Probably wouldn't 'a seen me around. Don't go out that much_

Asahi recovers just enough to reply.

_Asahi: Should've figured. Would've remembered a nice-looking face like that._

It only hits Asahi that he just flirted back  _after_ he sent the message. His face burns uncomfortably hot as he waits for a reply.

_portergage: Heh. Now I know you must be desperate, if you think a washed out old mug like mine is a "looker"_

While Asahi feels slightly relieved he didn't make things awkward, he also feels kind of bad. He hopes Gage's self-deprecating joke isn't actually serious. Sure Gage isn't attractive in the "conventional" way, but an ugly mug? Far, far from it.

_portergage: Alright man, so we're set for two weeks from now. Can't wait to tear shit up. Message me if ya got more questions, ya hear?_

_Asahi: Of course._

The online notifier turns off, telling Asahi that Gage's closed his side of the messaging. Asahi exits out of both the DM and the blog page, reopening Skype and calling his family again. They all answer in a span of ten seconds.

"So? What's the story?" Fuyuko asks.

"Guys...we have our plan," Asahi says. "Now it's time to wait for execution."

The fact that all three of them manage to make the same exact smirk slightly unnerves Asahi, but it doesn't matter.

They have a plan. Hopefully this Gage lives up to his ad.

 

Two weeks later, Asahi is pacing back and forth in front of the window in his living room.

In the time since his first talk with Gage, they'd set up some of the finer detail of the plans, Asahi played relay between his family and Gage, but they did something unexpected. They ended up just...talking. Not about the plan or anything, just random things about their lives. Asahi found out that Gage was the suspect in the Colter case a while back, and that he got his new home from some distant relative. Apparently he also has a pet, an iguana named Sage. And then they went from discussing Gage's previous arrest to talking about their pets. They ended up having a lot of conversations with that flow to them.

It ended up getting to the point of them exchanging numbers, just to make their online conversations easier.

Now though would be the first time Asahi meets Gage face to face. Asahi's looked at his picture again and again, more times than he'd like to admit. But seeing him in person...that's gonna be a whole new experience.

That's why he's nervously pacing as he watches the minutes tick. Vivian and Magnus turn their heads with his steps, watching their owner move. Taza follows by his side, practically in step with him. Even Doe seems to pick up on the tense feeling, despite the fact she can't even see what's happening.

Asahi turns his head at the sound of a car pulling in. He peeks out the window to see a dirty black car pulling into the driveway. From his research (he doesn't know jack about cars), he can tell it's an impala, so this is definitely Gage. His theories are confirmed by Gage stepping out of the car. Asahi looks him up and down, and he can't help but laugh.

Half of Gage's outfit is pretty normal. Slightly stained tank top, worn jeans, that looks normal. But not only is he wearing a jean jacket over the tank top, he's also wearing jean... _boots_.

"How the hell did he even find those?" Asahi says to himself. Taza spots Gage from the window and yaps happily, wanting to see the new visitor. Asahi laughs and pets Taza's head.

"Not today, girl. Gage and I gotta get going. Maybe next time."

Taza's ears droop, but the pitbull calms down. Asahi heads over to the door. "Alright, I'm heading out you guys. Don't do anything too crazy."

With that, Asahi slips out the front door. He walks down to Gage, who stands leaning on his impala with his hands in his jacket pockets. He looks Asahi up and down with his good eye, letting out a soft whistle.

"Got damn, kid. Got me feelin' underdressed here."

Asahi feels his thoughts freeze as he hears Gage talk. Even with the exchanged phone numbers, this is the first time he's heard the ex-felon talk. He could already tell the man would have a southern drawl to his words, but... _damn_.

Asahi coughs and runs his hands down his shirt. His outfit isn't anything special; a simple polo and some khaki pants with shiny black dress shoes. Honestly he purposely picked the least formal formal wear he could just so it would get under his family's skin (who he know would all be extravagantly dressed up aside from Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitomu). He kinda wishes he took Gage's approach in that regard.

"Oh, this is nothing," Asahi says. "Just an outfit I threw together. What you're wearing though...good god, uncle Reo is going to _lose_ it."

Gage lets out a hearty laugh, and finally hearing what it sounds like makes Asahi's heart skip a beat. He remembers what Gage's ad said about "platonic", and finds himself a little disappointed that this is just a sham.

But oh well, they are _definitely_ going to be having fun with it.

"Well then," Gage says as he finishes laughing, walking around the dusty car and swinging the passenger door open. "After you, _babe_." 

Asahi rolls his eyes at Gage's overdramatic performance before stepping into the car. He absently wonders if that's supposed to be a demo of what's to come. If it is, well...this should be _good_.

Gage hops into the driver's seat, pulls out, and heads down the road as Asahi pulls up the directions on his phone. The drive last for a few hours, but it's relatively quiet aside from the noise of the radio's music playing. Not that they don't want to talk, it just seems that they're out of conversation topics at the moment. Asahi takes a minute to study the rest of Gage's figure. The man has strong limbs, not overly muscular, but well built biceps and things. Just like Asahi thought, he did come with a broad chest, and he recognizes the chest hair from before, along with some hair on his forearms. The man's gotta have at least some sort of fuzz on him. As for his actual body, Asahi notices a bit of chub around the belly area, but it also comes with a mix of muscle.

_Seriously? "Ugly mug"?_

About an hour away from the cousin's home, Gage finally breaks the silence. “So, I gotta ask, who’s the actual guy in your life? Cause obviously you don’t want em coming to this shit.”

"Like, a boyfriend?"

"No, you're chauffeur-yes your fuckin' boyfriend."

"Well, I...I don't actually  _have_ a boyfriend."

Gage doesn't answer for a minute. Asahi looks away from the window to see why, and he realizes Gage is giving him a one-eyed stare.

"You're shittin' me. A guy with  _your_ looks is single? No way, you gotta be pullin' my leg here, there's no  _way_ that that's true."

Asahi coughs nervously as he feels his face heat up from Gage's compliment. It's at times like this that he really hates his inability to pick up people's intentions in their words, because right now he can't tell if Gage is just being nice or if he's genuinely flirting with him.

"Yeah, I know, it's kinda weird. A guy in his forties, not in any relationship-"

Asahi notices Gage give him a weird look, and he isn't sure why until he remembers: Gage is  _older_ than him. And if Asahi had to guess, he's probably  _single_.

"Uh, not that that's a bad thing!" he says quickly, trying to save face. "You know, everyone has their own opinions on relationships, and if you don't wanna be in one-"

Asahi stops as Gage lets out a loud laugh. "Kid, calm down, I'm messin' with ya. 'Sides, you ain't wrong. People look at you weird if you're over  _thirty_ and single, I've had that shit happen."

Asahi lets out a breath of relief. "Okay. For a second I was worried I actually insulted you."

"Nah, don't worry 'bout that. Takes a lot more to make me put someone in a body bag, floatin' down the river."

That comment is...disturbingly specific, especially considering the cause of his past arrest. But what disturbs Asahi more is how undisturbed he actually feels from the comment.

"So since it's come up, I gotta ask-ever have anyone special in your life?"

Gage shrugs. "Nope. Closes I ever had was that fucker Colter, and you already know how  _that_ turned out."

"Wait...you and  _Colter_?"

When Asahi first asked about what put Gage in prison, he expected the man to get abrasive and avoid the question. Instead he'd gotten a rather detailed explanation of it, including the backstory leading up to it. From what Gage described, his ex-boss Colter was an abhorrent person even by criminal standards, which led to Gage murdering him himself. Asahi still can't help but find it twistedly amusing that the thing that put Gage behind bars was killing an actual criminal, and not all the other stuff he was doing.

Gage nods. "Yeah, that fuck. It wasn't like a  _real_ relationship or anythin'. Prolly would've killed myself before him if that shit was the case. It was more like...foolin' around, if you get what I mean."

"I...yeah." Asahi tries not to let his imagination get too far in picturing Gage "foolin' around".

"But besides that, nothin' ever too far. Maybe a one night thing every now an' again, but otherwise nothin' permanent. Heh, not like anyone would stay with a washed out old fuck anyway-"

"Gage, stop it."

Asahi can't stop himself before he speaks. He can't quite explain why, but every time Gage makes some self-deprecating joke about himself, it rubs him the wrong way. It just...he doesn't deserve to have to see himself like that.

"I'm sorry, but...you can't go making jokes like that. You're not some 'ugly mug' or some 'washed out old fuck'. From what I've seen so far you're a funny, genuine, even a, hell  _especially_ , attractive guy."

Asahi looks away for a moment, trying to calm his breathing. He really wishes he was better at verbal confrontation. When he looks back, he realizes Gage is staring at him again, this time in utter bewilderment.

"Kid- _Asahi_ -you-" Gage lets out a breathy laugh, his expression relaxing as his mouth forms a small smile. "God, you remind me too much of Tracie."

"Tracie?" Asahi can faintly recall Gage mentioning her, but he doesn't remember what he said about her. "That's your friend, right? Or is she...?"

"No, she's not my daughter, before you even say it. Well, not by blood, anyway. She calls me 'Uncle Gage' so I guess that makes her my niece. Anyway, I swear she always talks  _just_ like you just did. Always finding the positive in everythin', trying to fix what's an actual pile of trash. Hell, kid's pretty much the reason the PTO moms in that Cul-de-sac haven't got me kicked out a there, yet. She...god I owe that kid."

Asahi stays quiet after Gage finishes, letting the man sigh as he must be thinking of memories of the two. Asahi figures he'll have to meet this Tracie. Even if they're a fake couple, he thinks it's safe to say the two have at least some form of friendship now, if Gage is willing to share this stuff with him.

"So, I sound just like her, then?" Asahi asks when he figures Gage is done reminiscing.

Gage lets out another breathy laugh. "Heh, yeah. Helps that you're the only other person who actually seems to get past the 'ex-felon' thing around here. Only thing separating the two of you is that  _you_  ain't tryna set me up on dates every single week."

"Oh, she's  _that_ kind of kid?"

"Yeah. I mean, she ain't weird about it, I know she's just tryin' to help, but sometimes it can get kinda...much. You ever heard of Grindr?"

Asahi feels a shiver up his spine as Gage mentions that app. "I prefer _not_ to think about my time on there. The people were..."

" _Yeah_."

The two look at each other, then share a laugh. Asahi looks ahead to see his cousin's home approaching in the distance, through the trees of the woodland road.

"That it?"

Asahi nods. "Yup. You see that green sedan a little closer to us? Stop right there first, it's my parents' car. We gotta meet up with them and my sister before we head in."

"Sounds good."

Gage slows down at they approach the car. Asahi sees Fuyuko leaning against the trunk, his parents no where in site. The impala rolls to a stop right in front of her, and Asahi and Gage step out.

"Mother, father, they're here!" Fuyuko calls over her shoulder. Kaede and Hitomu step out of the sedan as Fuyuko looks Gage over. "Wow. That outfit alone is enough to cause some stir ups."

Gage gives his jacket a tug, a smirk on his face. "Trust me, sister, this is only the beginning."

Fuyuko smirks back. "Then this shit should be  _good_."

"Asahi!" Kaede calls as she walks towards her son. Asahi hugs her once she's in reach. "It's been too long since we've talked off our computer screens."

Asahi smiles as his mother kisses his forehead. "Absolutely. I wish I could come visit more often, but work has been utter hell lately."

Asahi hugs his father as his mother takes her turn looking Gage over. "So you are the 'portergage' that is going to be helping us, yes?"

Asahi wonders how Gage is going to introduce himself. To his surprise, he actually bows and looks his mother in the eyes. "Why yes I am, ma'am. And may I say you're son is such a lovely person."

Kaede watches Gage as he greets her with wide eyes. She looks over at Asahi, mouthing him an 'is he serious?'. Asahi gives a huff of laughter and shrugs. Honestly he hadn't been expecting such a formal greeting himself, but he did find it quite...charming.

Kaede looks at her son, then laughs. She pats Gage on the shoulder. "Do not worry yourself with such formalities, young man. Our branch of the family has no care for such things. I suppose we are what my siblings call...'trashy'."

Gage looks up at Kaede wide-eyed, but he quickly relaxes and laughs himself. "Shoulda figured, given you’re all in on this revenge plot. Wasn't lying about your son though; he _is_ a pretty good person. Gave me a good talking too I didn't know I needed on the way up."

Kaede looks at Asahi with warmth, and his father pats him on the back. Asahi and Gage share a look that Asahi swears feels slightly...electrified? Whatever it is, there was  _some_ sort of deeper meaning to it. He looks back at his sister to see him looking at him with a smirk. He gives her a "shut it" hand gestures, just making her shrug and laugh. She looks over at Gage.

"So, Gage, from what Asahi's told us, we're doin' everything your ad says minus the proposal?"

"Yup, though I always keep a spare fake ring, just in case some minds change."

Strange thing to prepare for. Hitomu shakes his head. "I would say no to that. Two men together is one thing to them, and starting a fight is a yearly affair at this point, but a gay marriage proposal? I would feel better about your teeth during the fight than that."

Fuyuko stands straight. "Alright, enough idle chatter here, let's cut straight into this. First on the list: hitting on someone else. I figured we could just jump right into that once you get to know everyone a little bit."

"Sounds good to me. Anyone specific in mind?"

"Our younger cousin, Namuri," Asahi says. "She...well, not to be mean, but...she's kind of a gold digger. She's just hitting thirty-five and she's already on her fifth husband. Everyone knows she marries for money, and that she sleeps around with everyone  _besides_ her current husband. Hell, I'm pretty sure she slept with her second ex while she was with her fourth husband."

"What is more important to the plan here is that every holiday, she flirts with every man there that is not related to her," Hitomu says. "Almost all of them ignore her, considering all of them are already married to other women in the family. That is where  _you_ will be different."

Kaede finishes off. "Once you have gotten settled in and know a few names, try and find Namuri. She is always easy to spot, with her extravagant hairstyles and obvious figure shaping outfits. Talk with her, and be as absolutely shameless as you can. Hell, maybe even  _sleep_ with her if you can."

"Mother!" Asahi exclaims. "We're not gonna force Gage to sleep with some girl he's never met. And even if _she_ doesn't care, she's still married to a husband who would probably  _kill_ a man he found with his wife."

"Asahi's got a point, ma'am," Gage says. "Besides, even if she wasn't married, I wouldn't go for it. I'm not really looking for a ladies company right now."

Gage throws him an odd look after he says the last sentence. Asahi feels Fuyuko's smirk burn into his skin, but he brushes her off. She's reading way too much into things; Gage just seems to be a natural flirt.

"Well we've gotten all the details for the first stage done," Hitomu says. "What are we still standing around for? Let us head in!"

 

Gage whistles as they drive up closer. "Well, goddamn..."

 Asahi also looks up at his cousin's home as they drive closer. It isn't exactly a mansion, but it's only a few steps off from being one. The giant home is three stories tall, a good six window per floor on the front side alone. The whole thing is a rich mix of blue and green, the steps up to the front door an ashen gray, and the actual porch of it stylized with Greek-like architecture. The driveway in front of the home is more like a parking lot, cobblestone that loops around a large marble fountain that connects to a front area with enough space for a good five dozen cars. _Seriously, how does this_ not _count as a mansion?_

As Gage slowly drives around the fountain, they pass by a clutch of Asahi's aunts. He recognizes his aunt Sayuri at the front, recalling how unpleasant she was to him and his sister even  _before_ he came out. As they drive by, the old ladies look over, and they do a double take as they gasp. Asahi laughs even harder once he remembers that they're seeing the side with the bullet holes.

"Think that was a good impression?" Gage asks jokingly as they park next to Asahi's parents' car.

"Good? They're probably already talking about it in there."

They step out of the car and and head towards the front door. Aside from Sayuri and her group, Asahi figures they must be some of the last to arrive, given almost the whole front is filled with cars. Gage spins around as they walk up the steps.

"Well shit, you all ain't livin' like this? I'd sell half my organs just to live in here for a  _day_."

"They sold their souls and  _brains_ to live here in the first place," Kaede comments bitterly. Asahi remembers all the things his parents told him and Fuyuko about his family, and their unpleasantries from even before he came out. That's the main reason behind their more humble choice of life.

Once at the door, Asahi grabs the golden knockers and gives it a few raps. They wait a moment before it's answered, and unfortunately it's someone Asahi had hoped he would have to wait to see; the owner of the home, his cousin Tsubasa.

Tsubasa looks them over up and down, not even bothering to hide his disgust. "Oh. Asahi. And of course Fuyuko, aunt Kaede, and uncle Hitomu. Should have figured trash follows trash."

Asahi chooses not to react, as does the rest of his family. Gage also doesn't react, but Asahi notices his jaw tighten at Tsubasa's words.

Tsubasa's wife Yoru walks into view. "Who is it, dear? I thought everyone-" she cuts herself off as she seems them. "Oh. I see." Her eyes fall on Gage. Asahi barely keeps himself composed as he watches Yoru's horrified reaction. "Who. Is this?"

Gage does his bow again, but this time Asahi can feel the insincerity in it. "The name's Gage, ma'am. How nice to meet you."

"He's...my boyfriend."

Yoru presses her lips together. Asahi will give her this; his cousin-in-law at least  _tries_ to hide her disgust in them."How...wonderful. And my, what a...dashing outfit you've come in."

Asahi stifles a giggle as Tsubasa finally looks over Gage's clothing, scrunching his nose in disgust as he comprehends the jacket Gage is wearing. He doesn't comment though, instead shaking his head and turning to Kaede.

"I didn't think you guys would come this year. I figured you would prefer remaining with the ragged."

Kaede looks at her nephew with a high nose. "I will have you know that our transportation was fickle that year, Tsubasa. We were rather upset we could not make it that year, and we are more than happy to be returning now. And we are all more than happy to finally introduce my son's  _lovely_ boyfriend to you all."

Fuyuko stops herself halfway into a laugh. It makes Asahi realize that he's starting to make a goofy smile himself, and quickly composes his expression. Thankfully, Tsubasa and Yoru don't seem to notice.

"Well, you know this place enough. Come say hello to everyone in the living room."

 Once Tsubasa and Yoru are out of sight, the five of them burst into laughter. Asahi laughs so hard his sides hurt, and he has to grab Gage's arm for support.

"Oh-oh my god," Fuyuko says between breathes. "Did you see the look on Yoru's face when she saw Gage's outfit? That has to be the  _best_ thing I've ever seen!"

"Gage, son, are you certain you do not want pay for this?" Hitomu asks. "Because that moment was worth a million alone!"

Gage chuckles, shaking his head. "Nah, trust me. All I'm lookin' for outta this is a good time messin' with privileged assholes. And from the looks of it, it's gonna be like that all night."

Kaede steps into the house. "Well come on, everyone. Best not to leave them waiting."

The four follow Kaede in. Asahi feels a sudden warmth In his hand, and looks down to see Gage's hand interlaced with his. He looks up at the one eyed man for an answer.

Gage just shrugs. "Hey, ya hired me to play your date, I'm gon' play as your date."

Asahi realizes he has a point, but...part finds it a bit sad that their hands together isn't exactly _real_. Still, he can content himself with the feeling of Gage's fingers intertwined with his own.

Once they step into the living room, and the dozens of people there turn their heads towards them, all other thoughts leave Asahi's head.

_Oh, this is going to be_ glorious...

 

Gage and Asahi are in stitches in the connecting hallway in just half an hour.

Gage spent less then one minutes introducing himself to each person, but each person offered a _year’s_ worth of entertainment. The uncle Reo Asahi mentioned before took one look at his shoes and had to excuse himself. His aunt Sayuri and her gaggle of uppity old women stared in disbelief as Asahi introduced him to them, trying and failing to not look shocked when Gage told them about his criminal record.

”What is he, a felon?” One of them had asked. Well, ask and ye shall receive, madam.

One of his second cousins that even Asahi doesn’t know the name of watched them as he met everyone with complete discussed. When Gage realized she was watching, he smirked and pecked Asahi on the cheek. She looked at him like he just kicked a puppy before pulling her children out of view of them. And that’s only the highlights of it.

”Oh my...” Asahi says in between laughs. “I can’t...I need to catch my breath, oh my _god_...”

Gage takes a deep breath and manages to recover just enough to talk. “Okay, okay, that was good. But we gotta get this plan into motion. Where’s the cousin of yours?”

Asahi stands straight and shakes his head. “You’re right, you’re right, just... _hoo_ , that was good.”

Asahi walks to the living room end of the hallway. “Okay, you see that doorway across the room? That leads to the kitchen. Namuri always hangs out in the host’s kitchen before dinner. You’ll head in there, charm her up a bit, then convince her to come out here. That way _everyone_ will see what’s happening.”

Gage nods. “Sounds like a plan. What’s she look like, anyway?”

”She...it’s hard to describe. All I can is, you’ll know her when you see her.”

Gage looks at Asahi uncertainly, but he doesn’t offer any more explanation. Gage just shrugs and heads for the kitchen, but before he can go Asahi grabs his arm.

”Hold on, you may wanna lose the jacket. No offense, but...it’s not exactly flirtatious.”

Gage smirks. “Oh ho ho, tryin’ to get me outta my clothes, boss? I thought I told you this was _platonic_.”

Asahi’s cheeks grow red, and his eyes widen. “N-no, I didn’t mean-“ Realization hits his face, and his brows furrow. “Oh, you _asshole_.”

Gage shrugs. “Hey, that’s what you hired me to be.”

Asahi gives him a light punch, but Gage can tell from his smile that the guy finds it just as funny. “Oh shut up and get in there.”

Gage pulls his jacket off and places in on a small table. He takes a second to crack his knuckles and push some stray strands of hair out of his face. Through the corner of his good eye he notices Asahi staring at him. His smirk returns, and he gives Asahi a small flex of his arm.

”Like what ya see, boss?”

Asahi slightly jumps and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry...”

Gage laughs. “It’s fine. Can’t fault you for wantin’ to look. Just ask if you want a closer one.”

Gage turns and heads for the kitchen before Asahi can reply. Halfway across the living room, he peeks back to Asahi looking flustered, trying to calm himself down. Gage smiles to himself. He still doesn’t get why such a nice-looking guy-hell, just a nice guy in general-like him would be into an old crook like Gage, but he’s flattered nontheless.

Gage can feel the harsh stares coming from Asahi’s family, but he pays them no mind. Hell, he _revels_ in it. Every second he’s here is making these rich fucks feel filthy, and he is living for it just as much as Asahi and his allies are.

Speaking of his allies, Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitoshi watch him head for the kitchen with knowing looks. To Gage, that means “pick up your step and get this show on the road”

Gage steps into a bright, marble kitchen, half of it being a dining area of dark wood tables while the other half makes up the actual kitchen. Two older women stand at the stoves, talking to each other in Japanese. A younger woman leans on the counter, nursing a clear drink in her hand.

Asahi was right, Gage can tell immediately that it’s Namuri. As if her high-up ponytail isn’t enough, her golden scale-style dress covers only up to her shoulder down _just_ below her hips.

_Yeah, that’s definitely her._

Gage straightens his posture and pushes the remaining stray hairs out of his face. It’s been a while since he’s flirted with a woman, especially one so high-class (although from what he’s heard about her she’s not thats high class), but Asahi’s related to these folks and he’s acting like he’s getting compliments meant for a god, so Gage must be doing _something_ right.

Gage rests an arm on the counter across from Namuri, not looking directly at her but glancing at her with his good eye, watching her reaction of him. She glances over real quick, then turns her head all the one to get a good look at him. He watches as she gets a half smile and sets her drink down.

"Well, well, well. Looks like the new blood's come in. I'll say, for some man liker you got a good face."

Gage clenches his jaw. He wasn't expecting Namuri to just bust straight into the homophobic remarks. But he holds in his retort and matches her expression. "Well, let me just tell you I also like the company of a good woman."

Namuri gets a coy look. "Oh, is that so?"

"Yup. And from what I'm looking at I got some  _good_ company."

Namuri feigns embarrassment. "Oh, sir, you flatter me. Why, if we weren't both taken I'd be letting you sweep me off my feet."

_According to your family, even that wouldn't matter to you._ "Well then, why don't we just start with some good words for now?"

"Well, if we're sticking with words, let me just tell you you are one  _fine_ piece of man meat."

Gage smirks, giving a small flex of his chest. "Enjoy the view, darlin'. Maybe with the right convincing I could give you a _personal tour_."

Gage hears a shocked gasp from behind him, followed by the pattering of footsteps leaving the kitchen. Gage figures the old women have been listening in since he walked in, and they can easily tell what every word he's saying means, so now she should be on the move to tell everyone else what's going down in the kitchen. _Perfect._

Namuri fans herself. "Oh  _my._ You must catch the eyes of all the young ladies. I tell you, I don't know  _what_ you could ever be doing with an old fag like _Asahi_."

Gage freezes up for a second. Namuri kept it veiled when she was talking about Gage, but she just straight up called her family a slur. Gage may not be close with his own family, but he'll give them this: they hate him because he's an ex-felon and an asshole, not because of his sexuality. But he's more confused on why he's suddenly feeling sickened by it now. He's heard it thrown at him for years, why is it suddenly different hearing it thrown as his fake date?

Gage has to swallow back disgust as he responds. "Speaking of, I better get back to the boss. But I'll be sure we see each other later."

Gage gives her a wave back as Namuri blows him a kiss. He feels a slight chill of disgust from the conversation, but that leaves him immediately as soon as he's back in the living room. Almost everyone he passes side-eyes him, and he just acts as oblivious as possible as he hears quiet arguments start erupting.

"Can you believe it? Having the nerve of being gay  _and_ cheating, the absolute _sin_."

"Oh please, aunt Akane is just blowing things out of proportions, again. I don't like that jailbird either, but Namuri is a complete digger. She's absolutely the one who started it."

"Yeah, but...come on. How is he having the nerve to be with a  _man_ and still respond to a woman's flirting?"

"You say that like we're not talking the girl who cheated on one of her husbands with one of her  _ex-husbands_. With how she is she probably tried backing him into a corner."

Gage lets out a soft chuckle as more drama ensues between everyone. He looks over at Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitomu as they try and hold in their own laughter. Fuyuko is trying so hard to keep it in she's actually turning red. She gives Gage a quick thumbs up before continuing to hold her laughter in.

Asahi stands in the same hallway, this time with one of the women from the kitchen. Gage guesses she's the aunt Akane someone mentioned.

"I'm telling you, he was trying to get with her!" the old woman says with distress. "I know you're a queer, but even you don't deserve to be stuck with a man like that!"

There it is again, the obvious hatred just...thrown directly into Asahi’s face. And there’s the return of the strange pit in his stomach that’s never been caused by. Asahi doesn’t seem to even acknowledge it, which makes the pit grow even bigger. _What the hell is happening?_

“You worry too much, aunt Akane,” Asahi says. “I know Gage, he would never do anything like that.”

”But-“

”But nothing.” Gage snorts at Asahi’s dedication to his pretend obliviousness. “I know who I’m dating. Is there some other reason why you’re trying to slander my boyfriend?”

Akane suddenly gets indignant. “Why I never!” She turns pointedly away. “Don’t come crying to me when that tool breaks your so called trust!”

she storms off, nearly running into Gage. She gives him a look of disgust before stomping past him. Asahi watches her leave, breaking into a goofy smile as soon as Akane’s out of view.

”That...was _awesome_. I can’t believe you got to do it in front of aunt Akane of all people!”

”She a gossiper?”

”I don’t think there’s a word to describe how much she likes to spread information. I swear she would have some new drama she spotted every hour, but no one still knows for sure when she’s telling the truth or not.”

Gage walks up and wraps his arm around Asahi’s waist. “Well, looks like we picked the right time to get shit going.”

Asahi smiles, leaning in. “Yup. Now let’s go reap what we sowed.”

the two walk back into the living room, taking a seat near Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitomu. Gage notices the side eyes towards him are even more now that him and Asahi are side to side. Gage leans back and places a hand on Asahi’s thigh, daring someone to say something. As soon as he makes eye contact with someone staring, they cough and look away nervously. Every time he does it makes a choked laugh come out of Asahi.  At this point it’s Gage’s goal to make Asahi laugh out loud. Especially after...

”You okay?”

Asahi looks at him in confusion. “Uh, yeah? Why?”

”That shit your aunt said. I know ‘queer’ ain’t a slur for everyone, but that aunt of yours was _definitely_ using it like that.”

Asahi just shrugs. “Eh. It’s on the lower end of what they’ve said to me.”

That does the literal opposite of what Asahi intended. “The _lower_ end?”

Asahi sighs. “Gage, don’t put too much thought into it, okay? I’ve had five years dealing with this; it doesn’t phase me anymore.”

Gage looks over at Asahi’s parents and sister in shock. Their cheer from before is completely gone: Fuyuko frowns at the floor, and Kaede and Hitomu look at Asahi, sadness clouding their eyes. It hits Gage that their vendetta here is a lot more personal, and more extreme, then he thought. They aren’t fighting against backhanded remarks: this is _years_ of emotional torment.

_Oh, these bastards are gonna pay._

As if on cue, Namuri steps into the living room. Some people look in surprise as she saunters in. She looks over at Gage, giving him a seductive smile and a small wave. Quickly glancing to check who’s watching, Gage smiles and waves back.

It immediately causes a stir up. Akane turns and starts whispering to the person near her, while another rolls their eyes and starts complaining about Akane's gossiping. Two grandmas whisper to each other in Japanese, Gage guessing it's about Namuri's "supposed" commitment issues as they keep looking at her. Sayuri gives Gage one look of disgust before turning to her flock of bitter aunts. One of the uncles looks Namuri up and down, scoffs, then turns to his partner to whisper about her "scandalous attire". For a small moment Gage actually feels a little sorry for Namuri.

And then he remembers that she literally just called her cousin a fag, and his sympathy flies out the window.

Gage pulls Asahi close, close enough to whisper in his ear, "It's fuckin' showtime."

Asahi nods. "Get her over here."

Asahi nods to Fuyuko, and the two lean closer to each other and start talking. Once he's sure Namuri sees Asahi isn't looking, Gage gestures for her to come over with his finger, making sure as many people see the gesture as possible. Namuri walks over to him, swaying her hips with each step. Anyone questioning if Gage was getting forced on goes quiet as he Namuri bends over next to him, seeming to put as much effort in showing Gage her cleavage as possible.

"Well _hello_ darlin'. Glad to see you comin' out to the rest of the party."

Namuri gives a soft laugh and flips her hair back, trying to show as much skin as possible. "Oh, how could I leave such an unsatisfied man on his own?"

While no one watches them directly, some give him the side eye as they go on their own conversations, pretending not be eavesdropping. Gage glances back at Asahi. He's keeping up his role, not showing to even hear Gage and his cousin, but he can see the slightest raise in his shoulders from holding in a laugh. Smirking, Gage turns fully towards Namuri.

"Oh, sweetheart, I've heard that line plenty of times, and _none_ of them lived up to the claims. What makes you think _you're_ the one who can...get the job done?"

Namuri takes the bait, leaning in so close to Gage that their breathes hit each other. "Oh, honey...you have no idea what a time I could give you. I've learned more types of desires than years you've been alive. I'm sure I know at least three ways to get you hot and bothered  _alone_."

Gage feels an intense stare on him, and he glances to the side to see a man a bit younger than him glaring daggers at the two of them. Gage guesses it must be Namuri's current husband. Gage doesn't take his eye off him as he moves his hand up Namuri's arm. He sees the guy clench his teeth and dig his nails into his arms.

"That's some mighty big promises, darlin'. How am I to know they're all the truth?"

Namuri leans in to Gage's ear. The closeness makes him shudder slightly. "If you  _really_ wanna know, find me after dinner? I'll show you what a  _good_ _time,_ really is, much more than that sad sod next to you."

Gage bites back an angry retort, and forces himself to smile as Namuri backs away. She winks at him before turning to walk away. Suddenly, he hears a snort escape Fuyuko behind him. Namuri turns back with a look of confusion, but Gage quickly turns on the bedroom eyes-well, _eye_ -to ward off any suspicions. It works, as Namuri gives him another smile before really walking away. Gage sighs and leans back in his seat. Asahi still plays his part, looking back to make sure Namuri's fully gone before finishing his fake conversation with Fuyuko and leaning back with Gage. All around them the see the room trying, and failing, to hide themselves side-eying and watching them.

"Hey babe. Can ya show me where the can is around this joint?"

Asahi looks up at him, amusement glittering in his eyes. "No problem, love."

Gage links their hands as they stand and walk out of the living room. On the way out, Gage glances back to see everyone quickly pretend that they weren't just watching them leave.

_Stage one is a success._

 

"That. Was. _Amazing_."

Asahi nods, sharing the same excitement of his sister. He's never seen so many people in a room look so viscerally  _uncomfortable_. They looked even more awkward than the day he came out, and  _that's_ saying something. It was glorious.

Asahi looks over at the man responsible. "I...thank you, Gage. It's just...I know this is kind of weird to be so thankful for, but this really is _so_ great. Thank you."

Gage just shrugs. "Eh, what can I say? All in a day's work."

Asahi isn't so sure about that. Gage seemed...unnaturally bothered by what his aunt said. He'd already explained how homophobic his family in, how is it that big of a deal? Besides, Gage has probably dealt with it too, so why should it matter?

Asahi just shrugs. What's important now is planning their next step, which his father seems to realize. "Alright, now that the first punch is landed, we must move in while they're vulnerable. Dinner is just around the corner, so we must prepare for the next step. From what your ad said, I am assuming you are good at starting 'discussions' on religion and politics?"

Gage nods to Hitomu. "Ya got that right, sir."

"Good. My sister, Ena, is an extremely devout Christian and even more extremely strict conservative-"

"Which still doesn't make sense to me, considering she's an _asian woman_ ," Fuyuko comments.

"Anyway, the important fact is that she does _not_ allow argument for any of her beliefs. If she catches so much as a whiff of dissent or doubt, she will spring right into biting the person's neck. Most new members of the family that learn this shut up immediately, and do not bring up the subject again."

"I see where this is goin'."

Asahi nods. "You'll be the one who finally fights back."

Gage cracks his knuckles. "Sounds almost _too_ easy."

"Trust me, it won't be. aunt Ena might fight viciously, but it leaves her wide open for attack after attack. Don't look to upset her, though; the main goal here is making everyone else as uncomfortable as possible."

"Oh don't worry, I'll have half the damn room excusin' themselves to get away from it."

"Now that I would _literally_ pay to see that," Fuyuko says.

Kaede walks into the the bedroom they ducked down in. "Has everything been prepared here? I've just managed to convince Yoru to give Gage a seat next to Ena."

Asahi nods. "Everything's all set, mother." He looks at Gage. "You ready?"

Gage grabs his shoulder and pulls him to his side. "Let's get this drama started."

 

Surprisingly, Ena's words seem to affect Gage the _least_.

Then again, Ena's words are so typical in their hatred that it's not even worth the energy to react. Anything you could imagine an old, "Christian" values grandma would say. "Oh, those blacks just can't keep quiet and accept their friends are thugs." "You know those transes just gotta disrupt everything with all their protesting and stuff, can't just keep things to themselves." "I just _cannot_ understand why those Muslims act so upset over what people say to them when _they're_ the ones that turned their back on God!" So cookie cutter that the only thing that sets her apart from most others like that is that she's not white.

Asahi glances over at Gage, who seems entirely focused on eating his food. He's not sure why when Gage just whispered to him a moment ago that the turkey tasted drier than his prison food. Then he gets his answer as Ena starts another tirade. "And another thing, those weird...witches or whatever they're calling themselves. I'm telling you, they're directing themselves straight to hell with that Devil's magic. Why if I-"

"What if their god's the same as yours?"

Ena stops mid-sentence, her fork hanging in the air as she slowly looks over at Gage. Gage doesn't even glance over at her, staying focused on his meal. Asahi's glad for how much bigger the man is than him, because it's blocking his definitely amused looking face from his aunt.

"I beg your pardon?"

Gage shrugs, still not looking over. _Oh, he likes to play with fire_. "I'm just sayin', I ain't Christian or anythin', but your God created everyone and everythin', right? He clearly made those guys, so maybe he just takin' another form for em."

Ena just blinks at Gage in shock. No one else bothers to even glance over as Gage speaks. They've been through this with every new in-law; at least, they _think_ they have.

"I will have you know, you _faggot_ of a felon, if you ever have the nerve to degrade the name of our Lord like that again, I'll-"

"And another thing." Gage looks up now, but he still doesn't so much as glance as Ena. Asahi almost spits out his drink from holding in his laughter. "How you even know their other gods ain't real? What if they're some a god's angels just given him a hand with everythin' else? I mean he sent the Devil to take care of Hell, why can't any other angels be doin' shit? I mean other than sittin' on their asses in Heaven and lookin' pretty?"

Fuyuko nearly blows her drink out of her nose as Gage goes on. Asahi pushes her arm down through his own choked wheezes to keep her from choking. Ena turns fully towards Gage, her face tomato red from anger.

"I have  _never_ heard such  _atrocious_ interpretations of the Lord and his disciples in my life, you no good, sin loving, fa-"

"Woah, woah, woah, Ena. Please watch your wordin' here. This is the 21st century, ma'am, the f-slur is far beyond taboo now, and there are _children_ present. Really, I thought such a good, _Christian_ woman like yourself would do more to have a clean tongue."

Kaede can't hold back one of her laughs, but no one seems to notice. Everyone else is busy staring in bewilderment at the scene unfolding in front of them. No one's ever stood up to Ena tirades before, much less gotten past the first retort from her and _still_ going. Sayuri and her group stop chattering for once, watching Gage speak with open mouths. Reo's stopped taking a bite midway, his fork being held in the air. Even Akane has gone silent, her usual gossip gone as she watches the scene unfold.

What's most shocking though, is that even  _Ena_ can't find a response now.

She opens her mouth, closes it, then opens it again. She points an accusing finger at Gage, but she still can’t seem to find the words. Finally she lets out an angry “Ergh!” before slamming her hand on the table, then standing and stomping off.

Gage doesn’t even react, just going back to his meal.

”Don’t know what twisted her pantyhoes. I thought we were havin’ a very mature discussion on beliefs.”

 

Gage holds Asahi close as the smaller man laughs into his shoulder.

Dinner finished in complete and utter silence. Even Asahi, Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitomu managed to be quiet, even though Gage could tell by their faces that they were replaying what just happened over and over in their thoughts. After dinner finished, Gage excused him and Asahi and led them out of the room, Fuyuko whispering that her, Kaede, and Hitomu will stay behind to handle “damage control”.

Gage follows Asahi’s instructions to the basement guest room, the two of them flopping down on the bed as soon as they’re down there. Gage feels himself smile as he pats Asahi’s back, letting him finish wheezing into his body before taking a deep breath and calming down.

 "I'm sorry, just...oh my god, that was _good_."

Gage shrugs. "Hey, I gotta make this all worth the price."

"...We didn't pay you anything."

"I know. Come on, you really think I'd make you pay for garbage?"

"You-oh my _god_."

Asahi starts another laughing fit, and Gage finally gets to see him fully laughing like he wanted. As much as he doesn't want to admit, watching Asahi laugh...it warms him up inside. It sounds so joyous that Gage almost wants to join in. Asahi's smile intensifies his age lines, but to Gage it just makes him look...right. Asahi mentioned in one of their conversations before tonight that he had an "ugly laugh", and right now Gage is wondering what the fuck he was talking about.

Gage just lets Asahi finish his fit on his chest, listening as he takes ragged breaths to recover. "Oh my, oh my god you cannot make me keep laughing I think I'm about to pee myself."

Gage just shrugs again, patting Asahi's back while he still recovers. "Well, since I ain't making you laugh right now, you got anythin' else to do?"

"Um...oh, I got it!" Asahi turns and reaches over to the nightstand next to the bed. He pulls open the top drawer, then suddenly he takes the entire drawer out. Gage watches in wonder as he reaches into the empty space and pulls out a small pack.

"Yes! Found it!" Asahi flips back onto his back, opening the pack to reveal a couple joints. "Knew they'd still be here."

"Woah, woah, hold up." Gage lays back next to Asahi. "You're tellin' me you, good-hearted and anti-self hatred Asahi, smokes weed? Heh, just when I thought you couldn't surprise me any more, kid."

Asahi side eyes him, but doesn't say anything about the "kid" comment. Instead he takes out one of the joints and looks it over. "It's more of a special occasion type of thing. Fuyuko and I have been using this to get through almost every holiday with these people since we got out of college. We left this pack here a couple Christmases ago, when my family's shit was at it's worse. For a second I was worried Tsubasa or Yoru may have found what was left, but I guess we got lucky."

Asahi takes out the other joint and holds it out to Gage. "You want it? I know you said you don't drink anymore, but it isn't _exactly_ the same thing."

Gage looks down at the joint. He's rarely smoked weed in his life, although more times than he's had cigarettes (none). So he just shrugs, takes the joint from Asahi, and takes out a lighter. He lights his own, taking a huff as he lights Asahi's. The smoke slightly burns his old lungs, but to him the fact that he's still breathing normally is good enough for him.

Gage and Asahi both sigh at the same time, relaxing as they lean back into the soft pillows of the bed. Gage closes his eye as he takes another hit. "Damn, I needed this."

"Mmm," is all Asahi says, slowly breathing out his own smoke. Gage quits glancing at him and stares across the room as he lets the effects of the weed hit him. Suddenly, he feels something warm weigh against his shoulder, and he looks down again to see Asahi resting his head there, eyes closed. For a moment he's speechless, not sure how to even react. Gage clears his throat.

"Uh, ki-Asahi?"

Asahi slowly blinks his eyes open, shifting around. "Huh?" Asahi looks up, making his and Gage's noses bump. Asahi freezes up as him and Gage are nose to nose, eyes widening. "U-um..."

For a second neither of them move, staring eye-to-eye. Briefly, very briefly, Gage wonders what it would be like if he just moved forward, connect his lips with Asahi's, just to see what it feels like. Just the idea of it makes his heart stammer. But he doesn't do it, much as he wants. Instead he finds himself pulling away, rubbing the back of his neck. He glances back to see Asahi looking down, his hands tight together. Gage sighs. _Shoulda figured he wouldn't like that..._

"S-Sorry..." Asahi says. "It usually makes me pretty tired..."

"It's...it's fine..." Gage says. "I, uh...I don't mind."

Gage risks looking back, and he see Asahi watching him with...is that hope? _No, it can't be._

"O-Oh. Then..." Asahi rests his head on Gage's shoulder again. Gage freezes up for a second, then relaxes and lets Asahi rest against him. He even takes it a step further and wraps an arm around the smaller guy. He almost takes it back as he feels Asahi tense, but he leaves it long enough to feel him relax, even move towards Gage's touch. _Okay, I must be high._

"How ya feelin', anyway?" he asks.

"Huh? I'm fine, why?"

"Well..."

"Gage, this isn't about my family again, is it?"

"I...yeah, it is."

Asahi sighs. "Gage, I already told you, it doesn't affect me, anymore. I mean, you've probably faced this kind of stuff before." Gage nods. "So why is it a big deal with me?"

"Look, Asahi, let me tell you a story. When I first arrived in that home on Elm, this lady named Vicky led the movement to get me out of there. Lo and behold that person was Tracie's _mom_." He puts a hand up as Asahi's about to speak. "Let me finish, this is goin' to make sense. Even with Tracie trusting' me, for whatever reason she did, me an' Vicky don't see eye-to-eye, and we never will see eye-to-eye. Same with Tracie's boyfriend, some goody two-shoes named Preston. But despite all the shit, and all the arguin', I honestly can still call them family. And even though we're basically one law away from stabbin' each other, it would hurt to hear them talking 'bout me like your family does than some random stranger on the street, and I can tell the same would apply to you. So I'm gonna ask you again...how ya feelin'?"

Gage looks away from Asahi as he finishes, letting the silence hang over the room. He swears that the whole monologue broke his high, but right now that's the least of his concerns. If there's one thing he's learned to look out for in life, it's when people are hidin' shit, and Asahi's been giving that off the moment they arrived. Suddenly, Gage feels something push into his chest. He looks down to see Asahi burying his face into it. A wet spot is forming where his face is.

He's _crying_.

The only thing Gage can think to do is pull Asahi closer, letting him sob into his chest and ignore the slight discomfort of the tears and snot on him. Right now that's the furthest thing on his mind.

"You're okay, boss, you're okay, just let it all out. It's been _long_ overdue..."

Asahi's only response is a sob, looking up with bleary eyes before burying his face back into Gage's chest. Gage just sighs and pulls him closer, staying quiet as Asahi cries himself dry. It gets to a point where Asahi is just shaking and sobbing without tears. Asahi takes a deep breath and looks up, bringing his hand up to dry his face.

"Sorry," Asahi says as he looks down at Gage's shirt. "God, I just completely fucked up your clothes..."

"Asahi, don't you _dare_ apologize for what just happened." Gage places his hand on Asahi's cheek. "That shit was _long_ overdue for you."

Through a tear-streaked face and red eyes, Asahi smiles. And to Gage's surprise, he actually puts his own hand over his, and almost buries his face into Gage's palm. "Thank...thank you, Gage. I..."

Suddenly, Asahi brings his own hand to Gage's cheek, rubbing a circle around it with his thumb. "Can I...?"

Even though Asahi trails off, Gage can tell what he's asking. And despite his nagging doubt, he nods. "If ya want it, go for it boss."

Asahi moves closer, stopping when their nose to nose. For a moment Gage thinks he's already regretting the decision, but before he turns away, Asahi goes the remaining distance and presses his lips against Gage. Gage holds his breathe as it happens, his brain still partly processing if what's happening is real. It's over as quickly as it begins, but it still leaves Gage in a daze. Asahi breaks it with a laugh.

"So...'platonic', huh?"

Despite the waves of emotions they just went through, Gage manages to laugh. "Guess I kinda broke my own rules with that."

Asahi puts himself in the crook of Gage's shoulder, wrapping his arms around Gage's body and giving it a squeeze. "I'm kinda glad you did."

Gage looks down at him, running his fingers through Asahi's black curls. "I am, too."

 

Fuyuko looks over the stair railing at the two men on the bed. She smiles as she watches the two of them sleep side by side, holding each other close.

"Fuyuko, did you find your bro-" Kaede stops as she sees what her daughter does. "Ah! It's _finally_ happened."

"Yeah. Jesus, it's been less than a day and it _still_ took them too fucking long."

 

 "So, y'all ready for the drunken mess?"

After waking up from their high nap, Gage and Asahi met up with Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitomu in the garage. Neither him nor Gage said anything about what happened down in the basement, but something between them feels...different now. When they walked through the living room with their fingers intertwined, it felt almost...real. Now it made Asahi's heart beat a little bit faster as they walked and stood so close.

"Oh, yes, this should be good," Fuyuko says.

"And the easiest," Hitomu says. "After dinner, the _alcohol_ always comes out, and you say you've been through this before, correct?"

Gage nods. "Did a lot of drinkin' in my younger days. Led to...a lot of bad decisions. Not that it's why I got a criminal record, but still."

"Well, the point is, you know every single mark an intoxicated person can and would, yes?"

"That's right, sir. I'll head in like I just slammed a twenty-four pack a beer and raise absolute hell."

"Perfect. We will head in to lower their guards. You come in when you think we've made them unprepared enough."

Gage gives him a thumbs up. "On it, sir."

Hitomu, Kaede, Fuyuko, and Asahi begin to head back to the living room. On the way out, Gage grabs Asahi's arm. Asahi looks back, but he waits until the others are gone before he starts talking.

"Hey."

"Hey..."

The uncomfortable silence is impossible to miss. Gage scratches his neck in an awkward manner. "Listen, Asahi, we...actually, this ain't a good time, now that I think about it."

"Gage-"

"Just cause we're about to get into some more shit. After all this is said and done, can we...talk about what happened? I don't know what exactly that was in the basement either, but I don't wanna just leave the whole thing high and dry."

Asahi opens him mouth to speak, then sighs. He pats the hand Gage has holding his arm. "Of course, Gage. Are you sure we can't talk now, though?"

"I...no, not now. Let's make these rich bastards more uncomfortable than they've ever felt in their lives."

Asahi almost says something else, but he stops himself. Instead he nods. "Let's do this shit."

With that, Asahi heads after his parents and sister to let Gage get into character. As he walks off he takes a deep breath, trying to control his speeding heart. Part of him was worried that what happened was all some marijuana vision, but considering what just happened that thought's completely out the window.

Asahi isn't left with much time to think though, as he's already back to the living room. Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitomu are already out and about, making conversation to get everyone's guard down. Figuring no one would even bother listening to him, Asahi takes a seat to wait for Gage. Unfortunately, he ends up taking a seat next to Tsubasa. His cousin looks over at him before scoffing. Asahi ignores him and stares at the hallway he came from, partly willing for Gage to come out fast.

"Why are you even here?"

Asahi ignores Tsubasa's question, hoping it'll mean he stops talking. He doesn't.

"No one wants you here, you or your trash bag parents or sister. You people have  _always_ been dirt on our family's name, but now? Now you're also some homo, with your fag supporters, and now you're dragging in some loud mouthed, one eyed, crime breaking dirtbag fa-"

"Tsubasa, shut the _fuck_ up."

Asahi doesn't know what comes over him as he says that, but he doesn't stop himself. His discussion with Gage had left him with a completely new perspective, one he didn't think anyone could come up with. Now that's he's finally cried and let it be known how much everyone in this room has hurt him, with their words, their actions, their side glances, their hushed gossip, he's finally realized it.

None of them are worth  _shit_.

When he sees that his words even shocked Tsubasa into silence, he goes on. "I'm not taking  _any_ of your shit anymore. I've smiled and nodded and just pretended you guys aren't saying anything for far too fucking long. I've been quiet for years just so my parents and sister don't have to deal with it, because they get enough shit just for staying by my side, like how  _family_ should be. But you know what? I just cried over it all, because it  _does_ hurt, hearing all these words thrown at you by your own family, the people who are supposed to stand by you. But now that I've finally got it out? I know you people are worth  _nothing_ to me, and you never will be. We may share blood, but you people are far,  _far_ from sharing the heart of Fuyuko, Kaede and Hitomu, and you can only  _dream_ of ever getting there.  _They_ are my family, and you people are nothing but a bunch of bastards who share our last name. A bunch of bastards that will not nor  _ever_ mean anything to me anymore.

"Oh, and that shit you said about Gage? You can go ahead and shove it up your ass. Gage has been more affectionate, empathetic, comforting, and  _supportive_ than anyone here has been or, dare I even say, should be to me. He is _ten_ times the you will ever be, and twenty times the man you can ever hope to be. And  _piss off_ with the 'crime breaking' shit, because I know _damn_ well you fudge the papers on your taxes."

"Heeeey~!"

Before Asahi can tear into Tsubasa more, who's staring at him mouth agape, Gage bursts into the room. Asahi doesn't know how, but Gage not only pulls the act of being drunk, but he even pulls the look. Each step he takes has a slight sway to it, and somehow he got his face a flush red. He takes staggered steps, almost collapsing onto one of Sayuri's friends. She gives a gasp of disgust and pushes him off her, straight into Fuyuko.

"Hey, Fuyuko!" he yells obnoxiously. "You seen your brother 'round here? You know, Asahi? Boyfriend Asahi?"

Fuyuko, trying really hard  _not_ to burst out laughing, points towards Asahi. "Yeah, he's...he's over there, man."

Gage looks over at him as Fuyuko looks away to hide her smile. Gage's face lights up as he spots him, and to Asahi's surprise it looks completely, fully genuine. It actually makes Asahi's skin heat up a bit.

"Babe~!"

Gage stumbles over, bumping into Reo and almost comically ignoring Namuri as he walks by her. Asahi almost lets a laugh escape him as Namuri's bedroom eyes turn into being completely insulted as she sees where Gage is going, huffing and turning away.

He gets so distracted, he isn't prepared for when Gage completely collapses onto him.

Asahi remembers feeling Gage's body when they were pressed together in the basement. He could tell then that the man has all the bulk he shows, but he hadn't expected it to be like what he's feeling down: enough weight to give him trouble  _breathing_. 

"Gage, hey!" he tries to say with the crushing weight of Gage on his body. "You, uh, you get in the drinks there, love?"

"Hee, hee... _yeah._ " Somehow Gage manages to bring his drawl up a notch. Suddenly, Gage grabs Asahi's face and brings them eye-to-eye, whispering to him.

"Pat me on the back three times if this makes you uncomfortable."

"Wha-"

Before Asahi can ask, Gage crashes their mouths together. Asahi's entire body stiffens in disbelief, Gage taking it a step further from before. Instead of a brisk kiss like he did, Gage is going for a full blow makeout. Asahi partly wants to do the three pats, mainly because he hasn't made out with anyone...ever, and the biggest concern on his mind right now, surprisingly, is his inexperience.

_Oh, fuck it. If it's ever gonna happen..._

Asahi opens his mouth, Gage taking it as a sign to keep going. He presses their bodies close together, Gage's heat surrounding Asahi and making him feel almost dizzy, so much that he can't even focus on the fact that Gage's tongue is literally in his mouth. Asahi just sighs and relaxes, letting Gage make as big of a show of it for everyone watching as he wants.

Asahi ends up getting so used to the feeling that he almost whines when Gage pulls away, missing the heat of them so close together. Through lidded eyes, Asahi sees Gage staring at him with a goofy smile, his thumbs tracing the outlines of Asahi's features.

"God, you taste so _sweet_ , darlin'~"

The comment brings Asahi back to reality, where he realizes that all idle chatter has gone dead silent. Everyone is either staring in complete shock, disgust, or just up and left the room. Fuyuko looks over at them with a hand covering her mouth, throwing them a subtle thumbs up. Asahi looks in front of him again to see Gage glancing over at Tsubasa with a smirk. Tsubasa's expression is unreadable; whether it's a look of shock, disgust, or disbelief, Asahi can't tell.

Gage looks back at Asahi and starts trailing kisses along his cheek. "Hee, hee...love you~."

Asahi blinks and focuses in on playing along. He laughs awkwardly and pats Gage's back. "Heh, heh, uhhh sorry everyone. Gage can get kinda...lost in his drinking sometimes. I should've kept an eye on him, my bad. Here, I'll get him to lie down. C'mon, Gage, let's...get you some rest."

"Heh, tryin' to get me in bed, babe?" Gage teases, trailing a finger down Asahi's chest. "Come on, there's some children present, have some _decency_." 

Asahi ignores the heat of his face to fake guide Gage out of the room. He half lets Gage take the lead as they pass as many relatives as possible. Gage suddenly veers straight towards Kaede and Hitomu.

"Sir, ma'am, I just gotta let y'all know that your son here has gotta be the sweetest thing I ever met," Gage says, slurring each word as much as possible. "Seriously, he's gotta be the sweetest boy that I ever met. Sweet on dates, sweet at home, sweet in _bed_ -"

"OKAY, Gage!" Asahi pretends to be embarrassed, but on the inside his sides are hurting from laughing so much. "Don't really need to share that with my _parents_ , now do we?" He adds an awkward laugh at the end for effect.

His mother pretends to be masking discomfort, but Asahi can see the corners of her mouth turned up. "Oh, well, thank you for treating our son so kindly. It is nice to know he is being taken care of by such an...appreciative person."

Asahi pushes Gage towards the hallway, sharing an amused look with his parents before leading Gage out of the room. Once they're out of the room and out of sight, Gage stands straight and wraps his arm around Asahi's waist.

"So, how was I?"

Asahi gives him a half smile, pressing himself into Gage's side. "By far the best of tonight."

 

Somehow the awkward atmosphere between them returns once they're outside.

"So, uh..."

It only hits Gage once they're out there that he just full on french kissed Asahi in front of about...five or six dozen people. And yeah, it was exhilarating in the moment, watching his dumbass relatives reactions was hilarious, and Asahi hadn't given him the signal to stop, but...

The aftermath is just so, _so_ awkward.

Asahi fixates on his knuckles, rubbing each one with his thumbs. "That...just happened."

"I mean...it _was_ funny."

"Yeah." This conversation couldn't be drier if Gage purposely dehydrated it. "You're, uh...you're a pretty good kisser."

Gage's cheeks warm up at the comment. He gives a nervous laugh. "I...thanks, boss. You...aren't that bad yourself."

Asahi looks away, his cheeks flushed red. "That was actually...my first time."

Gage's eye widens. "Wait, you serious?"

Asahi nods. "Told you my love life was pretty dry. I mean, I've kissed, but I've never been part of a full blown makeout session. Especially one like... _that_." Asahi glances up at Gage. "So...what about you?"

Gage shrugs. "Here and there...never really meant anything."

Asahi looks down, and Gage  _swears_ he actually looks disappointed. "Oh. Did...did that one not mean anything?"

"I..."

"You guys!"

The two turn to see Fuyuko, Kaede, and Hitomu heading towards them. Asahi glances over at Gage before turning to fully face his family.

"That was _awesome_!" Fuyuko exclaims, hugging her brother, then Gage. "I'm pretty sure aunt Ena was on the verge of having a stroke."

"Oh, boys, I did _not_ see that coming," Kaede says, pulling Asahi into a hug. "I almost didn't even know what to say when you two walked over to us! I was so worried about blowing it!"

Asahi gives an nervous laugh as his father hugs him. Gage notices Fuyuko looking him up and down in a strange way. For a second he thinks it's a suspicious look she's giving him, but then he realizes it's more... _knowing_.

Hitomu pulls away and pats Asahi's shoulder as he looks at the two of them. "Alright, now it is time for the final stage, the moment we have all been waiting for. Well, at least what I have been waiting for all night: the big fight."

"We haven't really gotten a person picked out, though," Fuyuko says. "We all figured that would be up to you. Let you get a preview of the bastards before you get to pick which one to start shit with. You got a pick?"

"Tsubasa," Gage says with no hesitation. "Doesn't get more drama-filled than fighting the host of all people."

"That is-oh man this is gonna be a finish to an _amazing_ night," Fuyuko says, moving her hands evilly. "I can't wait to see that prick get his money's worth. Come on, we better head back before people get suspicious. Around now, most everyone will come out here to hang out on the back patio, and that'll be the  _perfect_ time to kick Tsubasa's ass."

Gage nods, and Fuyuko leads the way back inside. Gage stops as Asahi grabs his arm, and the two of them wait for Asahi's parents and sister leave. He turns over to the smaller man.

"Asahi? What's wrong?"

"Gage, why did you pick Tsubasa to fight?"

Gage just shrugs nonchalantly. "Hey, I'm just looking at the best way to make a scene. It's what I'm here to do."

Asahi eyes him up and down. "Gage-"

"Okay, _fine_. I...I saw that argument you got into with Tsubasa, and that's kinda why I picked him, alright?"

Asahi's eyes widen. Gage knows he's already pestered Asahi enough about his relatives, and he didn't wanna tell him, but he had watched Asahi's blowup at Tsubasa. It's why he came out at the time he did, wanting to get Asahi out of the situation. Even if watching him rip into the guy was awesome, the whole situation left him...well,  _nervous_ for Asahi.

"Gage, you aren't doing this to avenge me or something, are you?"

"No...well...okay, _maybe_."

"Gage, don't-"

"Look, boss- _Asahi_ -just let me get that prick once, okay? You got him with words, now let finish him off with a punch, yeah? He's been annoying me all night either way."

Asahi opens his mouth to argue, but then he closes it and sighs. "I'm not gonna convince you to change your mind, will I?"

"You'd have a better chance of herding cats, kid."

Asahi sighs again, deeper this time. "All right, fine. But don't go doing this just because of what he said to me."

Gage puts his hand up and crosses his heart. "Promise. Now let's go end this night with a bang."

 

Asahi can barely keep himself calm as he stands at the edge of the porch watching everyone.

Even with him giving Gage the okay to go for Tsubasa, Asahi can't shake out the unsettling feeling in his stomach. He knew the fight had been coming up all night, but Gage's eagerness to pick the guy that he just chewed out is giving him a bad feeling. He  _really_ hopes that Gage's choice isn't based entirely on defending him.

He spots Gage watching out onto the patio, who scans the crowd before setting his eyes on Tsubasa. Gage looks over at Asahi, throwing him a thumbs up before heading in the direction of Tsubasa. Asahi watches in anxiety as Gage makes a beeline for his cousin, Tsubasa not noticing until Gage is stood right next to him. Tsubasa turns and looks Gage up and down in indifference.

"Oh. You. The man of the night, and what the bedraggled cat of the family dragged in."

Gage doesn't say anything, but instead looks at Tsubasa with a stink eye. " _Real_ creative there, asshole. Almost as much as the shit I heard you sayin' to Asahi."

Tsubasa rolls his eyes. "Oh, please shut up with your vague threats. What, you think just because you've been behind bars that I'd just grovel at your feet and be scared for my life. That I'd respect that stain on our family name?"

Gage suddenly reaches forward and grabs the collar of Tsubasa's shirt, pulling him barely an inch away from Gage. Tsubasa goes silent and turns pale as Gage sneers at him.

" _You_ listen hear, scumbag. I already saw Asahi drag you through the mud earlier, so let me finish the job for him. The only one I see right now that's a stain on your family's name is _you_. Not only do you have the  _nerve_ to shit talk the love of my life, but you don't even have the guts to back it up. Soon as someone gives you some harsh words, you back away with your tail between your legs like some disobedient dog. Either step up and back your shit talking up, or keep your goddamn mouth shut. Unless you _want_ to be knocked out over the railing of your own back porch.  _Copy_?"

For a moment Tsubasa does nothing, simply looks at Gage in complete shock. Then his brows furrow and sneers back, grabbing Gage's arm and shoving him off. Gage stumbles back a bit before regaining his balance. Tsubasa simply smoothes his shirt and turns away from Gage.

_Wow, that's an...interesting move._

Gage takes the opportunity in stride, rushing forward and pulling Tsubasa into a headlock. Tsubasa cries out in surprise as Gage swings him around roughly, Tsubasa trying and failing to escape Gage's death grip. Everyone around them backs up quickly, watching in shock at the scene in front of them. Asahi gets closer as the mass of people in his view gets thicker. He looks over the others to see Gage standing still now, tightening his hold around Tsubasa's neck.

"So you _want_ to get knocked the fuck out, huh?"

Asahi jumps back at Gage's tone. He knew Gage would be playing up the fight a bit, but...the tone he uses is making feel a chill that reaches his  _bones_. What concerns him more though, is how _genuine_ Gage sounds.

_Please tell me he isn't..._

Asahi isn't left with long to think. Tsubasa suddenly drops to the ground, pulling Gage down with him. Gage lands on his face with a heavy thud as Tsubasa grabs the back of his jacket and pulls him up before throwing him back down again.

"Still think you're tough, felon?"

Gage lifts himself up, wiping away blood welling on his face from a fresh wound. He lashes out with his hand and grabs Tsubasa's ankle, quickly yanking and bringing Tsubasa back down, landing hard on his back. Gage spits out blood as he climbs onto Tsubasa and starts going for the man's face. He gets a few hits in before Tsubasa starts fighting back, trying to roll them to put himself on top. The two end up in a stalemate of trying to regain control while getting a stray hit in here and there.

Asahi feels his anxiety rise with each hit Gage receives. This isn't like everything else they've done; instead of finding the drama funny, Asahi's only focus is his increasing horror with each new wound Gage gets. He clenches his fists to try and keep himself under control, but it doesn't last very long. He pushes his way through everyone and grabs Gage, and surprisingly Gage lets him pull him off, though not without restraint. Asahi pushes his way through the crowd as Gage finally stops trying to resume the fight, ignoring everyone as he heads back towards the house, ready to go back to Gage's car.

"Can't believe we let those ragged pieces of garbage _faggots_ in here!"

Asahi stops dead in his tracks as he hears Yoru's voice. _Probably helping your waste of space of a husband_. Asahi turns back angrily to face his entire family, who jump back from his hostile gaze.

"You all can go _fuck_ yourselves, and for all I care, you can burn in _hell_!" For extra measure, Asahi spits towards their feet before turning forward and leading Gage back to the front.

 

"Asa-"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Asahi ignores Gage's complaint as he presses another fresh tissue to Gage's cheek wound. Once they got to the front of the house, Asahi all but put Gage into the passenger seat of the impala as he took the wheel and drove them a little down the way. And right now Asahi has Gage seated on the hood of the car as he tries to assess the bruises, cuts, bloody nose, and black eye. Sighing, he pushes the tissue down on the bleeding wound harder.

Gage puts his hand over Asahi's. "The trunk."

"What?"

"In the trunk." Gage points behind him with his thumb. "I keep a spare medkit back there."

Asahi hesitates, then takes his hand away to let Gage hold the tissue in place as he heads around the car. He opens the trunk to find the bright red medicine box Gage is talking about. Asahi finds it humorous for a moment how the kit is nicer than every part of Gage's car. He shakes his head, takes the kit, then heads back around and starts properly treating Gage's face.

"Asahi-"

"I _said_ I don't wanna talk about it," Asahi cuts off, not stopping his gauzing of Gage's cheek. He pulls out an ice pack and gently places it on Gage's eye. Gage sighs and holds it for him.

"Thanks."

Asahi takes a moment to check over Gage's nose. The bleeding's stopped, but it's still crusted with blood, so Asahi takes another tissue and wets it with the water in the kit, and starts cleaning Gage's face.

"Look, Asahi."

"Gage-" Gage covers Asahi's mouth before he can interrupt again.

"Just let me ask, boss. Are...are you okay?"

"I..." Asahi can tell from the way Gage looks at him that he can't lie about this. "No, I'm not okay. And I'm sorry, I know that was supposed to be the big way to end the night, but it...it _hurt_ watching you get beat like that. I...I couldn't just sit by and watch. And I know it ruined everything, but...I just _couldn't_..."

Asahi trails off as tears prick his eyes. He lets out a heavy sigh as he wipes away at them. He opens them in surprise as he feels Gage's hand start wiping at his tears.

"You want _my_ opinion on that?"

Asahi looks away in embarrassment. "What?"

Gage turns Asahi's face so that they're looking eye to eye. "I think that was the most badass fucking thing I've ever seen _anyone_ do."

Asahi stares at Gage in shock. "Wait...what?"

"Oh, don't act like you don't get it, boss. The way you stood up straight and told them face to face that they mean _less_ than _shit_ to you? I don't I've ever seen a scalping more brutal than that."

"I..." A wave of fatigue hits Asahi, making him realize how tired he is right now. Physically _and_ emotionally. He collapses forward and buries his face in Gage's chest. "I feel so damn _tired_..."

Gage gives a small laugh, wrapping his free arm around Asahi to pull him into an awkward hug. "Figured you were, holdin' all that weight on your chest."

Asahi just sighs in response, supporting himself on Gage even further. He looks up at the one eyed man. "Your face feeling any better?"

Gage shrugs. "Eh, been through worse. Feels fine."

"Really? Cause it's _killing_ me."

Gage stares down at Asahi, mouth agape. "Did you...did you just  _dad joke_ me?"

Asahi shrugs. "Hey, we're old pieces of shit, remember? It's kinda part of the job description."

The shock lingers on Gage's face, but then he shakes his head and laughs, pulling Asahi up onto his lap to let the smaller man properly rest on him. "Goddamn, you're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

Asahi just sighs again, burying his face into Gage's shoulder.

Right now, he just needs peace and quiet.

 

"Dammit, where  _are_ they?"

Fuyuko and her parents look around desperately, trying to spot Gage and Asahi on the side of the road. By the time the three of them got to the front, Gage's impala was missing from the the mass of parked cars. They piled into the sedan and started off down the road, but their search has come up with no avail.

Kaede taps her hand nervously. "Oh, where could they be?  _What_ came over Asahi?"

Fuyuko shrugs. Whatever it was isn't their business, or their biggest concern right now. What they need to do right now if find the two men.

"Look! Over there!"

Fuyuko looks where her father is pointing to see a familiar dirty impala parked on the side of the road. She lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank  _god_." She slows down the car to prepare to park, but when she does she looks over and notices something...strange.

"Oh..."

The three look out the window to see Asahi sitting in Gage's lap on the hood of the car. Asahi's face is towards them, so they can see his eyes are shut like he's asleep. Gage doesn't seem to notice them watching, simply shifting around a little. Fuyuko can't help the smile on her face.

"Well then."

Kaede and Hitomu nod. "Should we go out and ask what happened?"

Fuyuko shakes her head. "Nah, Asahi looks pretty beat. We should let him get his rest. We'll call him tomorrow to ask what happened."

Kaede nods. "You are right, sweetheart. Let's leave your brother to recover."

As Fuyuko gets the car ready to go again, she glances over at her brother and Gage one more time. She realizes Gage is looking over at him, face looking haggard, but he smiles over at them.

Fuyuko doesn't say anything to her parents. Just throws the man a thumbs up before putting the car in drive and heading off, leaving the two to their privacy.

 

"Gage, I...thank you. Thank you."

Asahi looks up at his house. Gage and him arrived just a few minutes ago, but they've been waiting in the impala since then, neither seeming to want to make the first move to leave.

Gage shrugs. "Hey, I was just lookin' for a good time-"

"Not just the 'fake date' thing. I mean...thank you for...everything, tonight."

Gage looks over at him in surprise. Asahi slowly takes Gage's hand, hesitantly tangling his fingers with Gage's. To his content, Gage squeezes back.

"Glad I could help."

They spend another few minutes in silence, this time feeling much...warmer. Reluctantly, Asahi lets go of Gage's hand and starts to get out. Gage also gets out on his side, and Asahi walks over to face him.

"So...guess this is it for tonight."

Gage nods. "Yeah..."

An awkward silence falls over them, neither able to find what to say next. For a moment they glance at each other at the same time, making them both look away with blushed cheeks.

"Well, I better get goin'," Gage says. "Can't be hangin' out here all night. Just...give me a call if you need anymore help, you hear?"

"Uh...yeah, of course..."

Gage looks at Asahi one more time before he starts getting back in. Suddenly, Asahi grabs the door before Gage can close it.

"Gage, wait."

Gage gets a confused look at he stands back up. "Yeah?"

"I..." Asahi tries to calm his racing heart as he prepares to ask. "I'm not doing anything this weekend. Would you...would you maybe like to go out somewhere to eat? Like...a date? A _non_ platonic date?"

Gage's eye widens. He opens his mouth to speak, closes it, opens it again. He covers his mouth with his hand. Asahi can barely keep still as he waits for Gage's answer. Finally, Gage looks back at him, a warm, nervous smile on his face.

"Sure. I know a good diner Tracie works at. Maybe you can meet her."

Asahi tries not to blank out before he can answer. "Oh, y-yeah, that'd be great. I'd love to meet her."

"Great. I'll text you Saturday evening. Don't worry 'bout gettin' dolled up."

"Of...of course." Asahi turns to head inside, pauses, then turns and reaches up to give Gage a quick kiss. "It's a date."

When he pulls back, he sees Gage looks as flustered as he feels. "Y-Yeah. A date."

Asahi gives him a smile, walking up to his house while facing Gage. At his door, he gives Gage one final wave, which Gage replies the same, before slipping inside. Once he's in, he slams the door and presses his back against it, sinking to the floor as he lets out the breath he's been holding in."

"Oh my god I just _did that_..."

Vivian, Taza, Magnus and Doe watch in confusion as their owner shakes giddily on the floor.

 

Gage lets out a sigh of relief as he sits back down in the car.

He watches as Asahi closes the door, tapping the wheel as he goes over what just happened. His "platonic" date just asked him out on an actual date, and he just said yes. He's going on his first date in _years_. Despite his racing heart, he laughs.

"Wait till the kid here about _this_ one..."

**Author's Note:**

> May or may not make an epilogue thing of their date. Idk I don't really have any ideas for that rn. Anyway hope y'all enjoyed.


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